The impracticality of having a Fontanos sub Fed-Exed from Chicago to Nashville

I'd give my left pinkie for a Fontanos veggie sub right now. The pound and a half of cheese they put on it; the oil-saturated mounds of vegetables and hot giardinara piled high; the crusty bread that slices up the roof of your mouth until the proper amount of oil from the giardinara soaks into it. Mmmmmmm. I know that if I threw $50 at Hotrod, i'd have one on a mail truck heading south today but there is a big problem with this. Fontano subs are so saturated in the loveliest of greases that they self-destruction within a half-hour of conception. Other than supersonic transport, i know of no means to travel between Chicago and Nashville in a half-hour. And a weekend trip is not the answer, as Fontanos holds a strict M-F schedule and closes at 5Pm. Oh, that ever-elusive Fontanos sub. You are dangling just out of my grasp. But your sweet siren song calls me. If i got on a plane at 9am, i'd arrive in Chicago at 10. I'd get to Fontanos about 11, devour my sub, get back to the airport by 12:30, fly back to Nashville no later than 1:30. I'd barely miss a day of work. That and $160 worth of airfare seem like a small price to pay for the glory of a delicious $5 veggie sub from Fontanos.