And now for more of the same

With the Evil Doctor out of commission, I have found that no one reads my blog regularly. Or at least gives me my fair share of insulting comments. This blog began as an open letter to the old Chicago Crew after moving to Nashville, and now i find that these lovable jerks must actually have lives now, or perhaps do work, or be engaged in something deeply important that keeps them from hanging on my every profound word. Feeling that my brilliance has gone unappreciated for too long, I am now going LIVE with my blog. That's right, i'm telling people i have a blog. The good, the bad, the ugly--my cyber soul is now exposed to the masses. I hope i remembered to delete all the insulting things i've said about people...Wait. That wouldnt be fair to the old Chicago Crew since i've used this blog to openly insult them every chance i got...

Right now i'm nursing my second post-partum hangover and contemplating why the liquors had the nerve to hang me over after i've invited them to share a major part of my life. Thank GOD the nanny is in town because a screaming Baby Head and the dry heaves dont make for a pleasant afternoon.

Now i dont make New Year's resolutions, but a resolution that i made before Xmas is that i'm going to stop feeling "mommy guilt." For those of you unfamiliar with the term, there is this epiphenomenon that as soon as one becomes a parent, they suddenly feel guilty for every wrong or right thing that they do, and i believe that this is perpetuated by the "Nazi moms" of society. "Nazi moms" are bored, useless women that spend their days judging all the other parents out there. They tell you that you are a horrible parent if you put your child in daycare, suffer from post-partum depression, dont breastfeed, or dont spend $400 on a Britax carseat. Nazi moms do this because they are quite insecure and ineffective parents themselves, so they must boost their self-esteem by criticizing others. Unfortunately, there are a lot of them out there and they write a lot of books and spew masses of propaganda so naive, unsuspecting, hormonally-captive new mothers like myself can get taken in by their bullshit. However, now that the hired goons of my brain have been tamed again, i've realized that inherently, i dont feel guilty about any of my decisions. I'm an AWESOME mom. The only reason i've even considered feeling guilty about something is because i read somewhere that i should. Fuck that. There's plenty of things to feel legitimate guilt about, like accidentally bashing Baby Head's noodle against the sink or practically amputating a finger when trimming his nails or leaving him in the Great Neglecto-matic while i write this blog. But putting him in daycare? Not gonna feel guilty about that. So for all you judgemental Nazi bitch moms out there, i say this. Suck it.