Masochism at the Movies

Sorry i haven't thrown any mad wisdom at you lately but i got sucked into some type of a manuscript-writing vortex at work that stole my consciousness and internet screw-off time for a while. I'm back now, and hey, guess what, i turned 30 today, yippee, happy birthday to me. Yes that's old, no it doesn't really bother me and its because i've already aged 20 years by having a baby and turning 30 couldn't possible do anymore damage than the ravages of childbirth and associated lack of sleep that raising an infant causes. So that's that, and really what i want to talk about today is this: WHY the fuck do people want to watch movies that make them feel like crap?

I tend to be very selective about the type of movies i watch: they have to have a lot of humor or people with superpowers or zombies or junkies or meaningless explosions. You see, i need to be entertained. What i DONT fucking need is to be taught a lesson, or leave the movie feeling fucking depressed. There are SO MANY movies out there that are fucking depressing. One example, and the impetus for this blog, is fucking Pan's Labrynth. Tell me again why this movie was so good? Because it was so g'damn depressing? Is that why? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? Why do people want to subject themselves to two-hours of anxiety, depression, and just plain fucking sadness? Why do people crave the feelings that so many of us try to chase away with medication and therapy? My theory is that these movies exist for people who have never experienced loss, tragedy, or depression in their lives. Therefore, these feelings are a novelty for them, and they seek it. The rest of us that have seen some awful shit in our times like to watch X-Men. Or Stick It. Or hell, even stupid-ass Talladega Nights. Anything that makes us forget about our mothers brothers wives murder rape cancer. I want to watch movies, about things i cannot relate to, or can relate to that are funny. Like kicking ass and taking names X-men style. Not some little girl getting shot by her wicked step-father and realizing what you thought was her fairy-tale story was just some sad, little hallucination. Pan's Labrynth can suck my ass.

And don't you fucking leave a comment on here saying "Well i disagree. I liked Pan's Labrynth and i enjoy experiencing that crazy fun emotion of wicked depression. " Because you'll just prove my point.