Its nice that my alcohol abuse hasn't gotten in the way of my weight loss

Ah, baby weight. Its a bitch. Nine months to put it on, nine + months to take it off. But finally, finally i am starting to see appreciable results and a return to my pre-baby clothes. I was slightly pissed off that my super sweet awesome jeans that i just bought a couple of months ago are now fatty-fat-fatty jeans; where i can hold them up and they look ridiculously huge next to me, but its a small price to pay for losing an ass the size of a tractor trailer. Dont get me wrong, i will never completely recover to swim-suit model status, but then again, the pre-baby body wasnt exactly posing nude for Playboy back in the day either. But its satisfying to fit into my OLD clothes again. So what is your magical weight-loss elixir these days, you ask. Well i have to say that i havent exactly done it on my own. Yes, i've adopted a low-fat diet and push a stroller up a massive hill in the 100 degree heat on an almost daily basis. But i've also started taking this adorable little drug called Alli that makes me poop out any fat that i have eaten. Its pretty fucking gross but it works like a charm and this low fat diet, exercise, and fat pooping pills seem to allow me to lose weight without sacrificing my nightly booze binges. Binges which have been amplifying as a result of needing to decompress after wrangling the perpetual motion machine that is the Dude. God love the little imp but he's in bed by 7pm and then its time for momma to tie one on. So its a lovely plan, these poop pills, that enable me to continue being enabled to drink as excessively as will allow me to stumble about yet not be hung over for my 7am date with the infant. It makes me think that people who scoff at modern science are fools.