"Please do not offer my god a peanut."-Apu

The Great Hindu-Irish wedding was a smashing success. Never before I have I been to a more opulent, exotic but extremely classy affair. It was amazing. It was almost like going to a foreign play that just happened to be serving tons of booze and food. The almighty Ganesh would have been pleased. Never mind the fact that the night before i got blindingly drunk and ended up puking. As i often do when i see my Chicago friends. I havent had a good hang-over in quite a while, and this one certainly made up for a lot of lost time.

The whole experience really got me thinking about what it would be like to move back to Chicago. I miss our Chicago friends so much, and most of the shittiest slums of the city are being torn down and rebuilt as a magnificient yuppy heaven with coffee shops on every corner and a two-story Target and all kinds of delicious new restaurants. And the multiculturalism and lack of overt racism was refreshing. Although, it was a deceptive trip because it occurred in September, the most (or perhaps the only) beautiful month in that city. Any other time its too fucking cold and shitty, or hot enough that the pavement radiates heat and the stench of bum piss. Plus people are really really mean in the north. I used to love this, i really did. Flipping people off while driving, giving dirty looks to children, and hogging seats on trains and benches were all a part of my daily repertoire. But now after living in the south, even the most ignorant meth-addicted hicks will give up a seat to let a mother struggling with an infant sit down. The toothless, slack-jawed hillbilly at Kroger will smile at my son, tell me about his 14 kids, and let me skip ahead of him in line because i've only got one item. And Billy Joe Bob from Physical Plant will always hold the elevator as i make a mad dash down the hall for it. I've softened and grown quite accustomed to these genteel ways. Southerners can be slow, evil, racist, fundamentalist pricks, but overall, they've got their manners, and a certain sense of propriety that causes them to hold doors open for ladies and smile at children. But at the same time life in Chicago appeals to me for reasons i cannot fully explain. Living in the big city always made me feel like i was part of the action, even when i was just sitting in my own living room. Its hard to be isolated when you're crammed right in on top of millions of people. Sure, you hate all those people and wont talk to them, but for some reason, its still comforting to be among them. Except in winter when its snowy and cold. Then i hate everything about being in the city.

All in all, Fat Nick and Deb are now married and we can say we participated in one of the most amazing wedding rituals of all time. We saw the land we love get polished up and de-ghetto-fied. We partied with most of the same friends who partied with us at the Great Head Wedding of 2002. The Dude survived his first trip to the Windy City, and i now question our career trajectory that keeps us in the dirty south. If only the weather weren't so shitty, perhaps we'd move back to Chicago. Maybe the great god Ganesh and global warming will make it so.